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January 2, 2024 | Art of the Collapse, January 2024

John Rubino is a former Wall Street financial analyst and author or co-author of five books, including The Money Bubble: What To Do Before It Pops and Clean Money: Picking Winners in the Green-Tech Boom. He founded the popular financial website in 2004 and sold it in 2022.

In December, some prestigious universities made the (in retrospect) horrendous mistake of letting their presidents testify before Congress. The result was not pretty — except for meme creators, who had a field day:

LGBTQ Community In DC Flocks To Hot New Gay Nightclub

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Word of a new gay nightclub spread rapidly through the nation’s capital over the weekend, with the LGBTQ community flocking to line up outside the latest trendy hotspot.

“Word has it this is the place,” said a man wearing a pair of black leather chaps. “The stories I’ve heard about what goes on inside this place will make you burst into flames.”

The new hangout has been drawing rave reviews from the gay community due to its neoclassical architecture, with ancient Greek and Roman influences that harken back to some of the glory days of gayness. “This place has everything — bald Nuclear Energy Secretaries wearing stolen African tribal dresses, naked men shaking their boobs, and a pro-Israel Frankenstein’s monster. Word has it there’s a special VIP lounge called the ‘Senate Hearing Room’ where things get really wild.”

Capitol Janitors Deep Clean Senate Chamber With Flamethrowers

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Capitol janitorial service made the executive decision to deep clean the Congressional hearing rooms today with military-grade flamethrowers.

“Lysol isn’t going to cut it,” said head of janitorial services Donovan Miller. “Light it up, boys!”

According to sources, the Capitol janitorial services discussed several options to address the Congressional offices before settling on torching the place. “We considered attempting to submerge the entire place in bleach,” explained Miller. “Ask yourself though, even if they were bleached, would you sit on those chairs? In the end, we had no choice but to burn it to ashes.”

Now, from the amusing recent past to the less amusing near future (click for video):

Trigger warning: The next video is pretty rude. Please don’t unsubscribe:

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January 2nd, 2024

Posted In: John Rubino Substack

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