John Rubino is a former Wall Street financial analyst and author or co-author of five books, including The Money Bubble: What to Do Before It Pops and Clean Money: Picking Winners in the Green-Tech Boom. He founded the popular financial website DollarCollapse.com in 2004, sold it in 2022, and now publishes John Rubino’s Substack newsletter.
With public support for the Iran war declining, the Deep State needs another distraction. And right on cue…
(Babylon Bee) — Dr. Anthony Fauci announced today that he has achieved a remarkable breakthrough in gain-of-function research at his mobile laboratory aboard a cruise ship.
“I’m extremely pleased with what we’re seeing on the ship,” said Fauci. “We are just now receiving the first round of data from the subjects we dropped off in Europe, and it’s really quite impressive. The mutations we have programmed are causing outstanding infection rates and tissue penetration. The potential for morbidity and mortality might put COVID to shame. I’m really hopeful.”
According to guests aboard the ship, the nature of the floating laboratory has come as a surprise. “At first we thought the crew-wide hazmat suits were just a fun pirate theme,” said Linda Carpenter while quarantined inside a windowless interior cabin. “Then they locked the shuffleboard deck and started referring to us by specimen numbers. Oh, and then came the rats. It’s getting unnerving.”
At publishing time, Pfizer had announced a new hantavirus vaccine that would be ready in just six months.
We also got definitive proof of Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide, in the form of a handwritten note:
(Babylon Bee) – A federal judge ordered the release of Jeffrey Epstein’s purported suicide note, which oddly appears to have been written on Hillary Clinton’s personal stationery.
According to sources close to the investigation, the stationery was discovered neatly folded on Epstein’s bed and prominently featured Clinton’s official State Department letterhead, complete with embossed seal and matching monogram.
“It’s the darndest thing,” said FBI Agent Tom Halleck. “There’s just no telling how Epstein could have gotten a hold of Ms. Clinton’s stationery. Why did he choose that particular piece of paper for recording his final thoughts? Quite the riddle we have on our hands.”
A review of the letter indicates that Epstein wrote he was definitely going to kill himself and assured readers that no one strangled him. “Well, at least this confirms it was a suicide and that there was no foul play,” said investigator Bradley Harmon. “Luckily, Epstein himself ruled out anyone else coming in and choking him to death. We can at least put that theory to rest.”
Meanwhile, “asymmetric warfare” has spread from cheap drones to high-quality propaganda videos. Welcome to the LEGO War:
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