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December 10, 2017 | Useless Blog

A best-selling Canadian author of 14 books on economic trends, real estate, the financial crisis, personal finance strategies, taxation and politics. Nationally-known speaker and lecturer on macroeconomics, the housing market and investment techniques. He is a licensed Investment Advisor with a fee-based, no-commission Toronto-based practice serving clients across Canada.

Poor James. His nice quiet street was besieged yesterday (“It was bonkers,” he reports) when news broke that his neighbour was selling her house and marrying a prince.

The lady in question, in case you live under a rock, is Meghan Markle, a minor starlet in the cinematic firmament who has just landed HRH Prince Harry the Swarthy. The engagement was announced recently, and she now joins Ivana Trump in whatever special universe is reserved for regal spouses the public cannot consume enough of.

In fact, says blog dog James, “the paparazzi were annoying, until my nine-year-old ran over one on his bike in the laneway.”

Well, this is the media attention that turned Toronto’s Yarmouth Road into a zoo on Saturday.

Sadly, however, the $1.395 million offering (realtors say the barnish place will sell for far more) does not belong to the almost-princess. She just rented it for a while when in Toronto to film episodes of that awful series called ‘Suits.’ The real owner is a hairdresser who’s also a fashion editor (aren’t they all?) who bought the place for $580,000 a decade ago.

Saturday was open house day and James watched with interest. “Thought you’d like a front line report,” he says. “It’s bonkers today, constant stream of Audis and Range Rovers. Wonder if they’ll get a Royal bounce?” Then on Sunday, this: “So far this morning, crickets. Still a few empty Starbucks cups on the front lawn though. I’ll give you an update if things change. Not quite the maelstrom they were hoping for! And for the record, few, if any, neighbours cared much about her living here. She was quite pleasant.”

James snapped evidence of the event. Audis everywhere.

Meanwhile, if you ever doubt the human capacity to be vacuous, check out the comment that agent Dan Freemen made when asked what impressed him about his listing, “Wow, Prince Harry used this toilet.” Seriously. He said that.


“Do you accept dog photos for your blog?” Peter naively asked me. Of course. Turns out Pete’s an officer in the Royal Canadian Air Force whose job it is to investigate accidents and crashes.

“We have a cute rescue dog (he was found in a dumpster). His name is Chance (full name is “Take a chance on me”), named by my Wife,” says the major, who sweetly capitalizes his spouse. “My Wife bought him without telling me while I was away in Germany investigating an A-10 crash (I was assisting the USAF).

“When I returned home my Wife informed me we had a new dog! This cute little black haired puppy came out of hiding in a kitchen cupboard, wagging his tail, walked up to me and lay on my boot – exposing his tummy for a rub.  I immediately lay down beside him and gave him a tummy rub, it was love at first site. Thank you for your blog, it is very educational and entertaining….wish you were running the gov’t.”

Be careful what you wish for, sir. That statement probably constitutes treason. Anyway, here is Wife and Chance:

While we’re being hopelessly cute and useless on this blog, let’s bring in Sadie, the dog who has a crush on a rooster. (Hey, if you’re impressed with the prince’s toilet, this is a step up…)

“Garth, really enjoy your blog,” says Brent, in the obligatory suck-up. “You present a range of ideas and topics, and allow the peanut gallery to spout and debate… a pillar in our society. This is a pic of our Sadie with her buddy, a rooster. She tolerates him. He adores her. I thought you might like to use the pic for your blog to show diversity.”

Now you are fully informed. Things that matter. Spouses and pets, poultry and princes. In that order.

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December 10th, 2017

Posted In: The Greater Fool

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